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The Surprising Halt

Updated: Apr 16

Have you ever been going about your routine - busy, speedily and excitingly, then all of a sudden your heart starts racing, and you are like: no, this is not normal and this is not how I want to continue to live? I can relate.

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For a while, I had been going about my business - contributing to the workplace and family and thinking that I was taking the best care of myself. The realization that I was acting out of line with what is normal for a human being came as a shock to me. I note: I am super aware of my potential and I still value having great aspirations. I actually did not fall prey to the conditionings of this world - the established standards regarding how things should be and be done. Hence, it was even more surprising to me that all of a sudden, I was now seeing how I was actively participating in what I now describe as an abnormal way of living.

While I have aspirations, my interest has not been dominantly materialistic. This has benefited me greatly. By not being materialistic, I have allowed myself to see the world and my interaction with others through a non-material lens. When I give, I give my all because I am not expecting anything in return. I just want to be, do and give my best. Therefore, I am confident in my capabilities and my ability to learn and improve. I also easily identify other people's strengths. Therefore, I focus on positive potential a whole lot. I don't focus on what is lacking unless it is relevant to the situation. I am not easily swayed by sight (sensory experiences, the living condition, the environment around me, changes etc.). My interest lies beyond physical reality. My energy is internally balanced. I have noted this because even after having my shocking realization (mentioned in paragraph 2), this is how I am choosing to approach life; through a non-material lens. I am simply not materialistic. In retrospect, I was never lost.

While such a realization was a surprise in itself, it was more surprising to me that my previous state of being was close to my current state of being, and still, I had been operating with many limiting beliefs. While I would come to realize that my perspective differed from almost everyone with whom I had physically interacted, I had still been acting according to a most popular way of living!

I loved my work, but work was dominant in my life. That phase has ultimately served its purpose in my evolution. However, for the past few years, I spent most of my time at work or getting prepared for work when I really preferred to spend most of my time on other experiences.

I was not miserable about work and this is what brought me through the experience peacefully, and with giving my best. I had committed to serving with excellence and this commitment took away the typical dread which many people perceive in the workplace. I do not mind work and I have nothing against the 9-5 work setting. During introspection, it just dawned on me that I could be of greater service to the world, in an even more efficient way; and had I been given a blank slate during childhood/adolescence, and shown various ways of getting things done, I would not have chosen the traditional 9-5 path. I would have harnessed skills which are required to be of far greater service to the world.

The thing is that, we simply don't know what we don't know. We are guided on a path early in life, we follow it in the best way that we can, and we believe that this is it until we come to the realization that it was not actually our choice. And guess the harder part? We could continue to live with an identity of ourselves which was constructed by society if we never attend to our internal impulse to question it - because some of us have even been taught that it is a bad thing to question things. Other times, our beliefs are so firmly ingrained that we think that we know it all; never opening up ourselves to a world of greater possibilities. This is understandable because we think we know.

How do we bridge the gap between what we think is true and what is actually true for us? I have linked two of my previous articles below to assist you with this process. I hope they help!


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